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failing-to-write-again · 29 days ago

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Bloody Gift Exchange 2024

Hi @cakeemoji I hope you like the fic. I chose Shu from your list of liked characters as I felt I could do my best with him. I tried to blend some of the trends of the audio cds and games when Shu has his softer moments.

Thanks to @diabolik-lovers-weekly for organising the exchange. It feels good for the fandom to come together for things like this.

The autumnal chill in the air had me adjusting the sleeves of my jumper, the carriage constantly jostling slightly from the bumps and dips in the road ahead. Crowds were gathered on either side of the winding streets en route to the Chateau de Vampire King. Pulling the curtains shut I sunk back against the plush seating, pushing myself as far into the corner as possible. What on Earth had I gotten myself into, agreeing to come was a complete mistake as far as I was concerned. The events from three months ago replayed in my mind like a mocking joke.

“What clothes do you want packed for a week? Tell the familiars by tomorrow”

“What?”

Shu had sighed, as if the mere act of explaining was the most unbearable chore in existence. He had dropped next to me on the bed, holding his head up as his earphones dangled around his neck.

“I have a festival to attend for the October full moon, meaning you have to attend as well. So, choose what you want packed, and tomorrow you have to meet the tailor to be measured. This whole thing is such a pain.”

A silence stretched between us as I sat agape across from him, eyebrows knotted in complete disbelief. The blank stare returned to me did little to ease the confusion. Shu sighed again, reaching his free hand out to tap the necklace he had put around my neck almost a year ago.

“This means you signed up for it. You don’t get to take it back now, you’re mine, woman. So don’t be so much of a pain as to make me go a week while desperate debutantes throw themselves at me.”

My cheeks warmed, the sincere look in his eyes never failing to catch me off guard. I let my hand weave its way into his, squeezing it slightly.

“But we can’t even spend time together at those balls, I just have to watch you dance.”

Shu didn’t have much to say to that, his eyes focused on some far off spot. I had learnt some time ago that when Shu looked like he wasn’t listening it was when he was listening the most. He loosened his hand from mine, wrapping it around my waist and pulling me close.

“You should come to this one anyway. It’s like I said you have to be there if I have to.”

That had been that and now the very same necklace was being spun between my fingers, sat alone in this carriage, trapped by the crowds unaware of your existence while Shu was somewhere in the same procession. No doubt the crowds were full of hopeful nobles with single daughters. Ridiculous protocols demanded the heir had to travel alone, unless married, and the lack of his brothers meant nobody was around to share the space with you. Karl Heinz was likely either in a carriage along the same road or already at the castle. The risk of having multiple important members of the royal line in one place probably meant he was already waiting in his study for our arrival. While I was still an Eve and therefore a completely acceptable choice in his eyes, the man still gave me the creeps. Stories of his treatment of the Sakamakis and his mysterious behaviour made it clear the man was not to be trusted.

The noise outside was slowly dimming, until a loud gate groaned and screeched slowly then a moment later slammed shut. This cycle repeated twice more before I felt the carriage shake as the sounds of cobblestone shifted to a smoother ride along the flatter road of the castle courtyard. The final slam sealing of my fate for the next week.

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I would be lying if I said the castle wasn’t impressive, but its oppressive atmosphere and the constant feeling that someone is watching you was definitely a deal breaker. However, my original plan of hiding away in my room until Shu appeared was beginning to feel impossible with the blonde haired vampire not appearing at his usual nap time. Leaving me to wander the halls in search of him. Looming portraits and lifeless familiars had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and goosebumps littering my arms uncaring of the thick cardigan wrapped around me. Shu’s cardigan to be specific, borrowed without permission from his room the morning of our departure, the worn but soft material was coated in the scent of his cologne and the toasty undertone that could only be described as... well Shu. The last visit to the castle had been so very different, I had just been marked as an ‘Eve’ with my link to Shu newly forming. Shu had been near stuck to me when we weren’t around vampires, paired with the amount of vampires present had made the more eerie parts of the castle less noticeable.

Nearing the door, I recognised as Shu’s general room of choice, I gently knocked waiting for his quiet beckoning to enter. Yet it never came, the room was completely stark, without any sign of his bags or him. I was left back where I began once more. Venturing through the curving halls and winding staircases of the castle was daunting but the idea of returning to my room felt worse.

After an hour of wandering and an embarrassing number of unread texts I was close to giving up. He must have been pulled to some prince linked task, or had fallen asleep somewhere I couldn’t find. I had explored so absent mindedly I completely missed I had taken myself right to his father’s study, the large mahogany doors threatening to swing open and leave me alone with a man that even made Shu nervous. Turning I start briskly walking away, aiming to avoid any potential vampires waiting to meet with the man and go to my room to lick my wounds. Yet whatever power may be decided that was the perfect time for the doors to creak open behind me. Bracing myself to curtsey and keep my mouth as shut as possible to hopefully avoid any confrontation I turn. My head quickly bowed as taught by Reiji, I dropped my knee as practiced.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t realise I had walked all the way here. I’ll be out of your way now.”

“That desperate to stay away? What a bothersome woman.” My head flew up, greeted with blue rather than golden eyes. Shu’s teasing smirk lifting the stress from my shoulders. I rose quickly, wringing my hands together.

“I was looking for you, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were the one trying to stay away from me.” He chuckled at that, reaching out a hand to brush against mine.

“But you do know better apparently?” He teased, leaning down and speaking in a voice so soft as if he was sharing a secret.

“You missed your nap.” I whispered back slipping my hand properly into his. Suddenly returned to my room. Shu slowly shuffled back, keeping me close until he was laid back in bed with me hovering over him. He pulled me close, a hand wrapping around the back of my head to hold me close to his chest, his other arm wrapping around my back. The bed was warm, and the gentle rise and fall of Shu’s chest was already lulling me to sleep.

“My pillow knows me well I see. Well, since I’m feeling nice I’ll take my nap now or else you’ll be bothersome and cranky,” an earphone hung by my ear, the distant sound of Chopin covering the drafty whispers of the castle halls.

“Hey...Shu?”

“mhm”

“Why were you in your father’s study?” I felt Shu’s sigh before I heard it, his face hidden from view as he held me to his chest.

“Don’t concern yourself with silly things woman, just go to sleep.”

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I woke to a cold side of the bed and the ringing of a bell just outside. Scanning the room, it was clear Shu had vanished some time ago, the ringing continuing incessantly. Calling out, I’m greeted by the voice of a woman.

“Excuse me ma’am, may we enter? We have your breakfast and instruction to prepare you for the ball.” Swinging my legs off the bed and opening the door I welcome the maids inside. A tray is placed atop the ornate vanity sitting in the moonlight streaming through the tall, ornate windows. The concoction somewhat resembling toast and oatmeal wasn’t the worst food I’d eaten but it was glaringly clear the chefs had no idea what foods from the demon realm were safe for me to eat. Around me the maids were setting up a range of tools and products, garment bags hung from a set of hooks nearby, and jewellery boxes were neatly stacked on a table. I could hear water being ran in the connected ensuite, filling the claw foot tub. It was raining outside, the subtle patter against the windowpanes a shallow comfort, my mind swinging between Shu’s distant behaviour and the ball ahead. The ball was surely going to be a trial; barely concealed distain from the vampires in attendance, dances so stiff and strictly rehearsed with a misstep being a point of mockery, and the fact I’ll be put in a plainer uncomfortable dress and told to stay to myself and far away from Shu. The same Shu who was here one minute and gone the next, he hadn’t been like this since solidifying your relationship and especially not before a ball he was going to have to spend apart from me.

“Ma’am we’re ready for you.”

Snapped out of my thoughts, the tap no longer running and the scent of roses wafting through the air. Thus, began over an hour of scrubbing and styling, a long bath where every inch of me was cleaned thoroughly. My skincare and other routines followed and improved upon by a team of servants. Leading to now, as I stood in front of a mirror as a sparkling blue gown was tightened and adjusted. It was beautiful, royal blue cascading down, flattering me perfectly. Sleeves of blue lace with golden flowers, and a neckline coming together with a brooch of the Sakamaki crest. It was unlike anything I had ever been dressed in before.

“Are...are you sure this is meant to be mine? I don’t normally get put in this stuff...” my voice was quiet almost scared to acknowledge the image in front of me. As if another person seeing me would wake me up to some plain black dress like I expected.

“Of course, ma’am, the Crown Prince himself requested it. The tailor was thrilled to be able to design it for you.” The woman barely looked up, opening boxes and laying them out. She held up a sapphire necklace, laying it against me.

“This was the late Queen’s ma’am; do you think it suits the dress-”

“No!” I blurt out without thinking. “I mean, I think Shu would prefer something different. He probably has seen it plenty.” The woman has a knowing look in her eye, nodding ever so slightly and quickly moving away a number of boxes. A silver moon caught my eye, a small crescent with a sapphire pendant hanging in its open space. Lifting it from the box I let it hang in the light.

“A wonderful choice ma’am, it’s part of a matching set. Shall I fetch the matching earrings and tiara?”

“Tiara?” My questioning tone goes unanswered, as the woman collects two more boxes clasping the necklace and slipping on the earrings. Finally, a sparkling tiara is placed on my head, each silver peak flanked by phases of the moon.

“I really think this might be a mistake; I’m meant to blend in...I’m definitely not meant to be wearing a tiara.” The maid looked at me confused. But before she could speak a knock on the door interrupted. Slowly opening, Shu stepped inside. He was dressed in a blue suit, the golden tassels of his epaulettes further broadening his shoulders. A crown sat on his head, golden and proud. Reaching up with sharp, ray like peaks resembling sunbeams. His normal white gloves missing and in its place a signet ring matching the crest currently sat at my bust. He stood still as the servants bowed and made their exit, once gone he nodded to someone outside before closing the door. Walking toward me, I wrung my hands together anxiety gnawing at my stomach.

“Shu, what’s happening.” My concern evident as the absurdity of the situation settled on me further and further. However, he didn’t respond instead lifting my hand in his. He gestured for me to step down from the tailor’s step riser used to make final adjustments to the gown. Walking me over to the windows he pulled open the curtain ever so slightly, peaking out before prompting me to follow. Outside guests were streaming into the atrium across the courtyard, however a group of people dressed in suits with notepads and cameras stood gathered on the courtside nearest to the window. Journalists? Most likely trying to get pictures of Shu, but this side of the castle is for guests not family. A man pointed suddenly, shouting something while raising a camera before a barrage of flashes assaulted my eyes. Pulling away the curtains sway shut once more, doing little to dim the shouting. Shu chuckled, moving his hand to settle on my waist.

“You’re not doing a good job being discrete, as should be expected though. If you were subtle, I would be listening to Bach instead of stuck here about to be forced through a ball.” His comment had me pouting, and increasingly irked by the lack of answers to the situation unfolding.

“Shu, you’d still be here I didn’t force you to go I don’t exactly enjoy these either. More importantly why are they outside my room and why am I dressed like this.” My finger poked his chest in punctuation, exasperation filled me. Only to once again be greeted with Shu’s laughter as his hand wrapped around my wrist to pull me even closer still. Leaning down he whispered.

“We’re only here because of you, the October full moon festival is a glorified carnival I’m meant to sit and watch later this week. This ball is for you and me alone. A fact you made abundantly clear by wearing that,” he taps the centre moon on the tiara, pulling back to look me in the eye as he continues, “A tiara made to match my crown. I have to say I expected you to be less bold, generally our wedding would be where you debut yourself in the future Queen’s set.” A blush rose to my cheeks, hands quickly raising to lift the suddenly heavy metal off my head. Shu’s hands reached up to stop me.

“Shu! I didn’t know, they tried to put me in your mother’s stuff. I’ll take it off nobody told me.” My whispers sounding far shriller than I would prefer.

“Nobody told you because it was part of the collection put together of options for you, by me. I had a feeling it would catch your eye; I didn’t think they would have put it on you without reason. But the only reason you’re wearing it is because you don’t want to wear her things, not because you like it?” He teased, his thumbs rubbing soft circles into my wrist flustering me further.

“I mean of course I like it, it’s pretty...but I don’t want to wear her things. It feels like a bad luck charm to wear that. Why is the ball for us though? Why did you choose my dress and jewellery, this all feels like a lot more effort than you’re known for.” Staring up at him, I see his gaze soften as his eyes slowly move taking in my appearance.

“You have had to watch irritating dull women attempt to steal me away countless times, and have never gotten to dance or wear something that actually suits you. So, I’m fixing it, it’s a bother... but it’s one I’m ok with this once. You’re going to enter with me, announced as my choice. This ball is to celebrate me choosing a future Queen.” His pointer finger and thumb play with the tiara, adjusting it slightly.

“I feel a bit like I’m way too dressed up, I don’t know if it suits me, I look like a princess from some fairytale.” Looking down at the dress in disbelief.

“You are a princess.”

“What.” The face I pulled was evidently the most hilarious thing Shu had seen, he actually laughed at last. He mocked a bow with his head, lifting his hand held out to me palm up.

“We are about to enter the ballroom, after him, announced together, and you will be anointed a princess. Then we’ll be stuck there for hours receiving congratulations and presents. Probably will be stuck dancing. Really, we should just leave now avoid the bother all together.” Shu said all of this so nonchalantly, and you didn’t doubt he would have you both leaving as soon as possible.

“No, I think we can manage. Just stay close, ok?” His hand wrapped back around my waist, turning us away from the windows and starting towards the door.

“I’ll be with you the entire night; it would be a pain to have to deal with someone stealing you away.”

I didn’t notice how the curtains had been pulled apart as he turned. To focused on my prince to see the photos being taken of the two of you walking away beginning your walk to the Royal balcony.

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The night so far had mostly been a blur. From the second the doors opened everything felt as if it was in slow motion and being fast forwarded at the same time. It began with our entry with every vampire family of note watching the two of us descend the stairs of the royal entrance. There were certainly some glares as we were announced, which only worsened when Shu’s father approached happily asking for a dance later in the night. However, with Shu virtually glued to my side and no clear reason for him to leave there wasn’t room for it to go further. Up until this point we had mostly been greeting guests and sampling food, but the music had begun picking up and Karl Heinz was approaching.

“I think it is time we have our dance, no?” His smile elusive as always, the man was unsettling there was no way around it. Shu’s hand didn’t move from my waist, if anything it tightened.

“I’m pretty sure the first dance is meant to be mine.” The man only chuckled in response, lifting his hand up making it obvious that unless Shu was about to make a scene there was no avoiding this. Reluctantly taking his hand we moved towards the centre of the room as the space cleared. A basic waltz began as we stayed silent. Nobody else was dancing either, so I had been left with someone I had only ever been told was incredibly dangerous. While desperately avoiding eye contact, I hear him start to speak.

“I won’t take too much of your time, your first dance is important after all.” He spins me out gently before continuing, “however, I feel I must thank you.”

“Thank...me?” I replied incredulously, he chuckled at that, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was looking at me like I knew something, as though I was a valuable ally or enemy.

“The boy is now becoming a man, something I have failed at while you succeeded Miss Eve. I do hope your relationship is long and prosperous, Eden needs a strong successor.” He stopped suddenly, bowing to kiss my hand. “I hope you can appreciate your role in this.” He straightened and turned towards an approaching Shu, passing my hand to his. Sharing tense pleasantries before he walked away, likely to mingle with his advisors. Shu took his place in front of me, the music changing to something more melodic and slower.

“What did he say to you?” Pulling me closer as we gently fell into step. The lights around us dimming.

“He thanked me.” I couldn’t help but think how undeserving of thanks I was, Shu was bound to behave when he found someone he wanted to behave for. The fact that was me wasn’t special, and I didn’t tell him to do any of this. Yet here I stood in a dress fit for a princess, which I now apparently am. Surrounded by noble vampires while being the same species they prey upon, dancing with one of the strongest vampires who was also a prince and also somehow mine. Moonlight was streaming down from above, bathing us as those around us faded into shadows. The jewels in his crown sparkled, mine likely matching. His eyes focused on mine as we turn, spin, and dip through the steps taught to me months ago.

“So, the old man messed with the planned dance just to thank you and steal the spotlight, typical.” He rolled his eyes, hidden somewhat by his curls. Reaching up I brush them away, slowing, his eyes locked on mine. The light around beginning to change, a subtle reddish pink replacing the silvery beams. Whispers began but I could barely hear them while in the moment.

“You don’t know about this moon, do you? I don’t know why I would expect any different you are a simple woman,” he spoke to himself as the light slowly intensifies as the music grows gentler. “When an heir finds a match, there’s a special moon which has a much stronger effect on them. If they’re in Eden they’re bathed in red light, some people say its to show support for the match, that’s a ridiculous wife tale, however. The truth is that it makes the bond between them stronger physically.” His fingers lace with mine before he continued quietly. His voice a melodic hum able to sooth my soul in a way that is equal parts scary and comforting.

“I feel your presence, your scent, you blood more than before. You must as well, even if you aren’t able to pinpoint it like I can. I won’t let you escape from now on, and nothing will take you from me.” The sentiment fills me with a warmth, and I can’t seem to wipe the grin off my face.

“Good, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.” Smiling back at me, the only thing in his eyes I can see is me, in full radiant focus.

#diabolik lovers #shu sakamaki #shu sakamaki x reader #bloody gift exchange #diabolik boys

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dragonflight203 · 10 months ago

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ME1 replay thoughts, wrapping up the Citadel quests:

-The Quarians have uncovered the most mass relays. Logical enough, since they spend all their time in space

-Fist is long gone, but everyone is still talking about him like he's alive. Not sure if that's a bug or an oversight on Bioware's part

-There are a lot of humans in the Wards. I'm going to assume Shepard's in the Citadel equivalent of Chinatown for humans

-There aren't any Turians in the Wards until the Markets. Was that intentional on Bioware's part because of humanity's poor relations with them?

-Conrad's "wife" will love him hanging a picture of femshep in their living room. Uh uh. Sure.

-Starting the Keeper quest by speaking to Jahleed sure leads to different results! Had to fight Chorban. And volunteering to scan the Keepers means I missed out on the paragon points when I returned to Jahleed. :/ Worth seeing once, but not repeating in the future.

-The Keepers and the Citadel are a total blackbox. How did anyone get the idea that inhabiting this place was a good idea, much less making it the center of government? And why don't they at least research it?

-Yep, running all over the Citadel again to scan the Keepers is very aggravating.

-Just how did Septimus learn Xeltan's secrets?

-Turians only wear those hoods in the Wards, not on the Presidium. There are Turians in casual clothes on the Presidium, so I suppose the hoods are just super casual? Like hoodies?

-The Banes person who blackmails Dr. Michel is built up, and then goes absolutely nowhere. Others have said it more eloquently than me, but it is a letdown.

-Shai'ra's words are a bit disappointing to me. Insightful, I suppose, but not so poetic to be beautiful or helpful to be meaningful. I don't mind helping her, but I'm not counting the words as a reward.

-And again once she's done with me and asks me to leave, because she's everything she can for me... I'm just saying, Shepard could probably use a massage. Or someone that isn't a crewmate to talk to. This is what makes me feel used. At least invite me back for tea next time I'm on the Citadel or something.

It's like the consort wants to know everyone except Shepard.

-The Signal Source sidequest is probably the closest Mass Effect comes to foreshadowing the end of ME3, sadly enough. And a large chunk of players probably never started it, and even fewer probably finished it.

-I should have realized Tali would object to possibly resolving matters with the Signal Source peacefully. Of course she would assume it would turn on us. And it insisting that organics must destroy or control synthetics doesn't help.

Still nothing that even hints at Synthesis.

-Interesting. It's possible that Schells was involved in its creation.

The creator originally created a machine to help funnel money from gambling terminals. That machine became an AI, which created the Signal Source, and the original machine was destroyed when the creator realized it was sentient. And who did I just run into that created a device for winning at Quasar in Flux?

However, the Signal Source says the creator is currently serving time in a Turian prison, so Schells probably isn't the creator. They may or may not know each other. Or the Signal Source could have been lying about the creator, the Turian Prison, or both.

-Running all over the Citadel to check each shop is so tedious. Money will become meaningless soon enough, but right now I have very little. At least I picked up a half decent armor for Tali.

#mass effect #mass effect 1 #mass effect 1 replay

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whereismywarden · 18 days ago

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So after finishing the game last night, here are my initial thoughts on it.

I had fun. I enjoyed it. A LOT. Definitely more than Inquisition.

It's very much a Dragon Age game - with some Mass Effect sprinkled on top of it.

It's a direct sequel to Trespasser (even with the massive time gap there's no denying that), and its storyline is reminiscent of DAO and DAI, although it's structured more like ME2. And there are a lot of emotional beats, not just in Act 3 but during the companions' quests too.

Speaking of companions, they and Rook feel more like friends and family than coworkers, falling more in line with DA2. BioWare did a great job getting me to care about them.

While I missed having three companions in my party, it wasn't as bad as I expected. I just wish enemies wouldn't zero in on Rook so much. It made playing a ranged character a bit difficult at times.

The game puts a lot of emphasis on the background you picked, with sometimes entire conversations that appear to have a faction-specific parallel branch. Interacting with characters from your faction feels a lot like returning to your origin's location in DAO. My only complaint is that my elven Rook appeared to know a lot about the Dalish despite his background suggesting he was city-raised, but that can easily be brushed off.

One of the highlights of the game for me though was how well trans Rook was written! It felt truly affirming, and I loved that you always have a choice: from what their experience with gender is like to whether or not you want to bring up the subject in relevant conversations. And there are multiple trans and non-binary characters throughout the game too. It's not just you and that one blink-and-you'll-miss-them NPC. There are major trans and non-binary characters in this game.

That being said, I found myself thinking way too often that there should have been an imported choice for this or that. And I don't just mean "wow, wouldn't it have been cool if we'd gotten a cameo from so and so?" There are specific lines of dialogue in the game that might invalidate some people's playthroughs!

Also, I now get why some critics claimed BioWare was playing it safe with this game. Historically, they haven't always been great at writing morally grey storylines, but here, it seems they were so afraid of getting some backlash (specifically over their depictions of the elves and probably the Qunari) that they're not even trying anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing (lord knows some improvement was needed), but it's at times such a 180 from existing worldbuilding that it's pretty jarring.

Though that doesn't stop the game from asking you to make difficult choices. This time, they're just more akin to picking an ice cream flavour rather than "Aunt Mia is allergic to nuts but if I don't give her a pecan pie, Travis will kill my dog."

But again, I can't stress it enough, I loved that initial playthrough, and only time will tell how well that opinion holds up on replay.

#dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #datv spoilers

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brineffxiv · 2 years ago

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I returned to the first. I said hi to many of my friends and acquaintances. I filled Ryne in on what's been happening.

...And now I have to see if any part of Elidibus' soul is still in the Crystal Tower, and if it is, if he will help me.

I didn't only kill him, after all: I killed his friends. I made sure their millennia-long labor to resurrect their people ended in failure. I destroyed their last hope.

And now he's mine.

The memories of my friends are with me

Man, Shadowbringers was a fantastic expansion. I haven't even finished Endwalker and I'm already looking forward to replaying it.

Oh thank goodness; he's still here. I don't know what we'd do if he was gone.

He was sleeping, but I woke him up. The smallest of my crimes.

I tell Elidibus all that has transpired, and, to my surprise, he agrees to help me. Not for my sake, no, but because this was done by Fandaniel, he, as Elidibus, sees it as his duty to repair.

I am once again struck by how... honorable doesn't seem like quite the right word. Perhaps integrity? What I am trying to say, is that I would not have blamed Elidibus if he told me to go fuck myself. The dedication to their duty the Ascians held (save, of course, Fandaniel): it humbles me. I have a great respect for such consistent service to their people.

Elidibus tells me what little knowledge he has been granted by the constellation crystals. A pity that the one Ascian there is to ask is the one with memory problems.

It was Fandaniel himself - the original, unsundered version - who discovered the connection regarding the celestial aether currents, and dedicated himself to finding a solution. Without his knowledge, the Convocation would not have been able to do what they did to save the star.

Elidibus' claim that the Fandaniel of the past was very different from the incarnation of the present jives with Fandaniel's own assumption that the man he was would weep to see what he had become.

Aha! Elpis the place! Tell me, what was it? Where do I go to find what's left of it?

Apparently, Elpis was a testing facility for the ancients' creations; determining which ones were fit to be released into the wider world. More intriguingly, and in what cannot be a coincidence, the man who would become Fandaniel was chief of the place. When he was known as Hermes.

(I see the pattern with the names. The Convocation's true names are all those of Greek deities. Hades, Athena, Gaia, and now Hermes. What's yours, Elidibus?)

Unfortunately, that is all Elidibus knows, as the crystals tell little of the Convocation's lives prior to taking their seats.

Wha-? But, I know it's a place I go to. How...?

Eh!?

Something about this moment has triggered a memory for Elidibus. Impossibly, he seems to remember meeting me, in the past, in Elpis.

H... How?

Apparently, Elidibus has gleaned how the tower works from the Exarch's memories, and now, fueled by his own empowered essence, he is willing to send me into the past. If I am willing to trust him to do it.

The distance to be traversed is so great that I will be invisible, inaudible, and intangible. But even worse...

Even should I manage to interact with anyone I will be unable to change the future to which I must return. This tracks with what I know of G'raha's own jaunt through time, and the continued existence of the reality he left. I have no option of escaping the Final Days via changing the past, just as G'raha's changing of the past did not erase the future he came from. This is probably a good thing? I would be petrified of accidentally wiping my friends from the face of existence otherwise.

Sending me to the past will consume every last mote of Elidibus' essence. This will be his final act. I pray he finds the peace he longs for in it, and that there is some place where he will be reunited with those he lost. For all the evil he and his brethren brought into the world, they have lived their own hell all this time. I would not begrudge them this reprieve.

Elidbus' final thoughts are to Hydaelyn, now the last of the ancients. I... hadn't thought of Her in such terms before. My thoughts are somber, and apprehensive, as I step into the past.

Oh my. I am indeed a shadow of myself.

Oh my god I am in the past. And there are ancients. Real, living, ancients! I had forgotten how absolutely massive they were. Wow.

I run around and try my best to catch anyone's attention, or interact with anything at all. It is as Elidibus said it would be: I am entirely intangible.

While I am fighting with the door I can't manage to open, two more ancients appear via the atheryte-like device behind me.

And then I took three days to find a way to write out this sequence that wasn't simply pure screaming in joy. Know that behind every sensible comment is a continuous "aaaaaaaaa!"

I will admit, I did not recognize him from the brief glimpse I got prior to fighting Zodiark.

This was the precise moment I realized who these two must be, and proceeded to lose my entire goddamn mind.

It is not possible to render in text the sound I made. I missed him so much and they gave him back to me! I am going to cry of happiness!

Goddamn, Emet-Selch, you have gorgeous eyes.

Every time he looks into the camera my heart skips a beat.

Hythlodaeus was right when he said you had a handsome face, too.

Sir, I desire you carnally.

Hythlodaeus himself is also painfully pretty.

This game just keeps giving me deliciously beautiful men.

I took approximately 9000 screencaps during this reveal sequence.

Omg omg they can see me. They can see souls. They can see me. (lol at Emet pretending he can't)

Hythlodaus thinks I might be Azem's familiar.

Emet-Selch doesn't know what I am, only that I'm bad news and they should ignore me.

Hhhhhh! Stop looking at me like that! Please keep looking at me like that!

Oh damn, they can't hear me though. Blessing and a curse? I have no idea what I would say to them if they could hear me.

Oh? You can do that?

The grumpiest man in the world.

You've got him wrapped around your finger, don't you?

Self: do not ship them. Not allowed. They are both already dead. Horribly. There is no happy ending possible here. You know how it ends. The game is trying to lure you into a false sense of security by having them be all cute together. Down this road lies only madness. Do. NOT. Ship. Them.

I'm solid again! Yay! Emet-Selch even made me the right size!

Hythlodaeus introduces himself and Emet-Selch to me, and I, in turn introduce myself to them.

But then my new old friend wants to know where I came from: he can tell from my strange aetheric composition that I wasn't created here. I'm not sure if I even should explain, much less how I'd go about starting to, "You see, I'm from the future..." Elidibus said I cannot change the past... But...

Thankfully, Hythlodaeus senses I am having a difficult time with that question and asks me a different one, what am I doing here?

Turns out that our purposes are the same! What fortune! As an apology for assuming I was Azem's familiar, Hythlodaeus offers to serve as my guide as well.

Predictably, Emet-Selch is not happy about this. But, Hythlodaeus points out that it's better to keep me close by if he thinks I'm up to something.

And with that, we pass through the doors and into Elpis...

(Had to cut this post in two. Too many pictures, lol)

I can't believe it. I think I'm still in shock. I'm in the past. The ancients' world. The world unsundered.

Catch me sobbing because it's all so beautiful here and it's all going to be destroyed.

I'm doing little quests from the ancients here, and all I can think about is how they're all just people. They're the same as the people I know in my time. Oh god. I think I'm going to be sick. This is what I felt upon seeing Amaurot, but worse. Because they're alive. Fuck. Amaurot exists out there somewhere, filled with people, living and thriving. That shining, beautiful city... What did Elidibus say? He said I can't change my future... I am tied to what I came from... But can I change theirs...? Can I do for them what G'raha did for me?

This is a game. I can't effect what the game does. But I want to save them. I want to save them so dearly.

#ffxiv liveblog #rhesh'a tag #elidibus #emet-selch #hythlodaeus #thoughts on lore #fangirling #thirst

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morphogenetic · 7 months ago

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Mediaposting 2024, #6: Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2/The Great Ace Attorney Resolve

Completed: April 21st, 2024 (/i still have to watch the DLC episodes that didn't get released with the official loc, I guess but I'm not playing it any more so ?? lol)

Time spent: 49.5 hours (will be like 50.5 after the DLC stuff)

Rating: 9/10 (more objectively. but a very biased 9.5 in my heart.)

ohhhhh my god alright where do i even start with this. i guess i also have to talk about dgs1 a little bit in this review/mini completion log but I will TRY and keep it to just 2. [editor's note: somehow succeeded with this! lfg]

first, to get the non-spoiler parts of this out of the way:

please for the love of god play this fucking game if you've played the original AA trilogy but not the DGS duology. i can not stress this enough. i would not recommend playing them as your FIRST aa games because a) they will set your bar way too high (and too low simultaneously bc wow dgs1 still has whack as hell pacing) b) there are a few details, especially in this particular game, that will evoke no reaction in you if you haven't played at least the main three games but WILL cause you to start gnawing on drywood if you have Knowledge Of The Future

the whole dgs duology - and specifically as a duology, bc 2 makes no sense without 1 but 1 by itself is not on this level - is absolutely in my top 3/4 AA games now. i admittedly have not replayed the original trilogy in quite a while, buuuuuut T&T/AAI2/DGS1+2 are my new top 3. not necessarily in that order, give me a bit to think about it lol.

im going to be thinking about this game for the rest of my life probably. i can see why my best friend wanted me to play it for uh. seven years. because yeah it really is that good.

i want to cosplay four different designs from it. i have not wanted to cosplay anything new (to me) since neo twewy came out three years ago. take that as you will.

music still slaps. obviously. my favorite new song is absolutely partners (IYKYK) but agh. the new theme(s) that characters get are all so fucking good. clenches fist. the leitmotifs

definitely becomes relevant in retrospect in a few places where capcom obviously cut the hell out of the budget but they saved it for where it matters so i dont care. im also uh. very used to low budget VNs so frankly even 3D models are better than I'm used to LMFAO. i also you know. didn't realize that they did that until after the fact. so. they hid it well

if you havent played this go and play it (after playing the original AA trilogy). please for the love of god im on my hands and knees.

everything below the cut (i.e. below this point) has blatant unfiltered spoilers. you have been warned.

okay so welcome you've presumably played all of dgs2 if you're reading this. i have THOUGHTS. a lot of these will come off as critical/negative but i need to strongly emphasize that these are the only reasons that this game is not a 10/10 for me and otherwise i'm in love with it. it is fucking CLOSE. i am not talking a lot about the things i really love because that is.............................a lot of the game for me and we'd be here all day. the critiques are much more limited in number. but. you know.

dgs2 absolutely has much, Much better pacing than dgs1 does overall. it does not take 3 cases to get past a bunch of tutorial cases. this is a good thing. however..............the first two cases are still very slow. i won't call them pure filler, because a) reminding us about yuujin was a very good idea, b) they contribute to the Themes of the game. and im glad hosonaga was there again and (of all of the side characters we could have had) seeing souseki was good. i like them. but they really didn't need to be there to fulfill the themes of the game. case 2 in particular feels like a filler case, which I do not love given how tight the rest of the plot feels. if anything i feel like they should have done an interim flashback case without susato, as much as I adore susato, because as-is it's canon that ryuu had 3 cases in the span of a week. which feels INSANE

speaking of better pacing: im so glad dgs2 remembered that AA games can take investigation breaks between courtroom shit because running through ALL of the trial after ALL of the investigation in 1-5 was. let's say. taxing. the 'finding their footing' aspect of the first game

i do kind of wish we got One more case with the masked apprentice where susato wasn't there at all for the entire case. if only because then the delay between ryuu Thinking It and susato Knowing it would be even more painful. but i do really appreciate that they don't try to make it a woah big reveal as much as a painful "i know who you are but you don't." really adds a certain je nai se quois or however the fuck you spell that. idr. its 1 am when im typing this

also hey asougi can we fucking unpack how susato (the girl you were raised with to some extent, probably not like your sister but your weird younger cousin) called your name and you didn't remember who you were but you DID remember when you saw a wax reconstruction of your dead dad. can we fucking talk about that for a minute. can w

speaking of asougi. my god. they did such a good job with him. i think i wouldn't have cared nearly as much about him if all we had was the dgs1 stuff but his extreme motivation for the truth almost turning him into a violent attack dog is. aaaaaaaaaah. god. and the parallels between him and his father's followers (read: the von karmas) that one has from playing the mainline AA games. truly brainworm material

speaking of this: i can absolutely tell they did NOT think about writing the professor stuff with this game until they added in the masked apprentice - before he got turned into asougi - even though the reaper was obviously something that was planned. i do not care personally about this, because game dev is weird as hell and it REALLY works with asougi and van zieks' character arcs. in the same way that i don't think [SPOILER CHARACTER] from vlr would have been as good without the knowledge of 999, i think if barok had been foiled against a new character it wouldn't have worked as well. all that said. it sure is obvious they didn't know what they were doing. this makes me even more impressed that that they got it to work at all

the same is true of everything with the hound of the baskervilles but im really glad that they took it in the direction that they did.

also man it is so obvious that they probably wanted to have this be a proper trilogy like the original trilogy but then budget happened. because 2-3 through 2-5 all slap but they feel so fucking weird next to 2-1 and 2-2. like i dont feel that theres anything missing per se but a little more time for character growth would have been nice. hell even adding in an extra case (and/or editing 2-2....)

the only writing thing, aside from. 2-2 being like that. and the other weird pacing issues..that extensively is off to me is the whole assassin trading plot. i do think it is Very stupid and that they clearly wrote themselves into a corner with 1-5 on how to deal with it because they just...proceed to not deal with it until 2-4 and 2-5. however. even with that said. i actually kind of like that it is so stupid. because stronghart definitely feels SO obsessed with his version of justice that he wouldn't think through the potential downsides of having two free-roaming assassins running around and maybe coming to get his ass. obvious flaw that would not occur to him because of his insane ass behavior

its still dumb. but it's ace attorney dumb. so i can excuse it a little bit

stronghart being a damon gant expy was funny but goddamnit was it predictable. making him be so obssessed with justice that he talks to ryuu about it for 4 hours was funny as hell though and absolutely adds to him as a character. still dont like him that much Personally but hes definitely a character

his breakdown was peak. by the way. top 3 breakdowns in the series

jigoku being like that kills me. also. the way he just let genshin

g. genshin impact (sorry)

i dont care that sherlock's bullshit was a deus ex machina bc honestly.....electricity was real at that point. its fine

also. holy shit i love ryuunosuke in this game even more. 'i'm not doing this for you, kazuma. i'm doing it for the truth.' BANGER!!!!!!!!!!!! his growth across these two games is really good but especially in this one he shines so brightly

however..........this game made the glaring lack of ryuu's parents even more obvious. its not like i Need it or anything but considering how he very literally refers to yuujin/susato/sherlock/iris as his family in 2-4.....where are your parents!!!! what was your childhood like!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT I WISH COULD BE ANSWERED!!!!!!!!!

and asougi. i could write an essay on asougi alone i think. but i adore how both he and ryuu are like 'you've changed' at each other and neither of them are wrong but then by the end they're like 'wow you're the same as before.' theyre so fucking gay. anyway

and sherlock (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DO YOU LIE FOR FUN LIKE THIS????????)

and yuujin (partners ~ game is afoot starts playing and i start crying). obsessed with how they only had to write the dynamic for a single case and you can believe all of it because they can just go. lol. ACD canon. anyway

and susato

and, most surprisingly of all for me.....fucking barok van zieks. i would not call myself a Fan of him in the way i am a Fan of asougi and ryuu, but i am obsessed with him. he did so many things wrong but realizes he genuinely fucked up and wants to atone for it. he gets genuinely upset in prison when he can't join the red-headed league. he's a professional alcoholic. he has bats in his office (???). what is wrong with him. (i know the answer is 'literally everything that could be wrong with a person.' but still

i love every single character in this game (or i hate them but because they were written to be hated)??? how did they manage this again. dgs1 helps so much here because the character growth.

argh. the character parallels with everyone realizing their parent / mentor figure was fucked up and/or hiding shit from them in some way. thinking emoji rotating in a circle goes here

wow that magically became way less critical as i was writing it. i thought it was going to be a lot stronger of a critique. its still weird pacing stuff basically that bothers me but i have very minor complaints that im forgetting aside from this

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH HI GUYS IM BRAIN ROTTING NOW FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this has had almost the same brain impact on me (as evidenced by the 1 million words about it) as raging loop i think and thats never a good sign since i still think about raging loop at least once a week despite the fact that i played it 3 goddamn years ago

#dgs thought spiral #< if you're wondering. how much personal hell i am in because of this game. i made a tag for it. lmao.#mediaposting #junpei.txt #finished writing this at 1 am my time but im queueing it for the morning so people can read this like the fucking morning paper. you know.#long post

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quibbs126 · 3 months ago

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I can finally post this, after weeks!

But yeah, this here is something I made to celebrate the 9th anniversary of Evoland 2

Some people may remember this work in progress from weeks ago, but now I can finally show the finished product. Which I finished 2 weeks ago

It’s based on the 3D picture you get when you finish the game, specially the 100% completion, and more specifically, my screenshot that I took when I first completed the game and got 100%

Though I should probably also note that this was the only picture I had of the beach scene until I was mostly done with the picture, so there are some inaccuracies between it and the original. Except for Reno in place of the Prophet, that was completely intentional

This game was I think the first (and will probably be the only) game I’ve ever 100% completed, and when I did it the first time, it was just because I knew that games would have extra things for those who 100% it, and I wanted to see what the game would give me. It’s the only time I was so invested in a game that I had to know what I’d get if I got everything. It’s also the only game where losing nearly 10 hours of progress due to a (maybe) glitch does not make me give up the game in frustration, but instead complete the entire thing within a single school week

I may gripe about my issues with the game, but I absolutely love it, and I have a lot of fun playing it. Well, aside from the parts I’m bad at, but that’s just because I’m bad at them. I feel like I have next to nothing to complain about from a gameplay perspective (which is in part because I don’t know how to critique gameplay, but also because I think any issues I have are my own fault), it’s just narrative stuff. And even then, I wouldn’t nitpick it so much if I wasn’t so invested in the world, story and characters

Maybe today I’ll start replaying it again, seeing how I’m pretty sure I’m free today from any schoolwork

I’m still holding on to some admittedly delusional hope that a 3rd game could release one day, even if I know it’ll almost certainly have nothing to do with this one, but even if it never does, I’ll still have this game to play over and over again, so I can accept it

I was disappointed that I missed the last two, since I first played the game in 2022, but not this year, I remembered!

Now to just talk about the art itself, the reason there’s two versions is because I originally made the background lineless, but after finishing the characters I thought it maybe clashed a bit too much, so I made a duplicate of the picture to do a lined version. But I also spent so long on the lineless version that I didn’t want to just leave it in the void, so I’m showing it too

Admittedly now I think I can say the lined version probably is the better one, but I can still show off both

I used the card colors for the characters, since all of them have cards for reference, but now I’m looking at the colors and thinking they look somewhat wrong. At least on Menos

Also as mentioned prior, I switched out the Prophet for Reno. I know I’m biased but I really think he’d fit in this picture of all the main characters far more than the Prophet, considering he’s kind of the reason the plot started, the second half happened, and he’s the main motivation for one of our party members. I mean, I see why the Prophet’s there in the original. He’s really the only other semi-important character with a 3D model, and Reno never had one, so they’d have to make an entirely new one just for this extra thing. Also it doesn’t make sense for him to have a 3D model in the first place, especially not of his Present era self. But not only is this now a drawing where I have the power to do what I want, this scene isn’t canon in the first place, so put Reno in the background there!

Overall though, I’m honestly surprised the piece turned out as good as it did. Those who follow me know that I was really struggling with drawing during the summer, more specifically drawing people and the Evoland 2 cast. But despite all that, I think the characters turned out pretty well. Certainly not the best, but better than I was expecting. And not only that, but the background turned out so much better than I thought it would, especially since I don’t usually do backgrounds. Though I suppose it does help to have a reference for all this though. But yeah, there was a reason I was so proud of how the sketch turned out, and while the final product may not have entirely been what I was hoping for after the sketch, it still turned out pretty good

As long as I can remember it next year (which I really hope I can, considering that’s the 10th anniversary), I’ll try to make something there too, hopefully with much improved drawing skills, since I’m still trying to figure all that out again still

Not sure what I’ll draw then. Maybe I could redraw the beach scene, or make an entirely new beach scene concocted by my brain. But it’s also the 10th anniversary next year, so maybe it should be something more special

Ah well, that’s next year’s problem. For now, have this to celebrate the game’s anniversary. For the minuscule amount of people who actually play this game, I guess

#I’ve slightly started to doubt if today is the actual anniversary #that’s what Google tells me the original release date was #but if I’m wrong I will never know peace #probably the incorrect phrase but I can’t figure out what it’s supposed to be otherwise #but yeah Evoland 2 anniversary #for all 5 of us who care #evoland 2 #my art #anniversary art #evoland kuro #evoland fina #evoland menos #evoland velvet #evoland ceres #evoland reno

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k-dokja · 1 year ago

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synopsis: someone dies during your mission, that's never easy.

timeline: first year, before star vessel.

characters feature: geto suguru, gojo satoru.

relationship: classmates, friends.

notes: probably ooc as hell since i'm trying to narrow them down. originally written for gojo but then 75% in i realized gojo was an asshole so suguru has to lead the convo.

— you feel him before you hear him and you know that won't happen unless he wants you to see his approach. even then, you don't bother to acknowledge him and he gives no complaint when he sits down beside you. next to him, you once again feel the distance between you and the world.

it's strange, and alienating, but you can't stop it from impeding your thoughts and clouding your mind.

"you were nowhere to be found, had to search for you," suguru's easy words become once with the breeze when they enter your ears. it ignites a single cinder of irritation in you but the fire fizzles and then dies.

"i wanted to be alone," you say with pointed indignation. you hear him laugh. it's annoying and pathetic how he gets to you simply by doing no more than breathing, but maybe you are at fault for leaving your walls penetrable. then again, he was the one who came all the way to this rooftop to seek you out when you wanted to hide.

maybe you're justified in your annoyance.

"sorry for ruining your fun," he says, "but you're upset and i don't think you should be alone when you're sad."

you acknowledge him now. your glare is met with a single glance from him. his smile is resigned. it's not a declaration of victory, it has no reason to grate you further. but the reality is contradictory.

"...you shouldn't worry," you muster out your concede of defeat anyway, it's unreasonable to get mad at him, "i just need a moment then i'll be back on my feet."

"take all the time you need," he says, "all of us have to get used to death at some point, whether it's a civilian or somebody we know. it's unavoidable."

you flinch at the accuracy of his words. deep down, he makes sense, you know he does. no one smart would approach being a sorcerer without a healthy dose of pragmatism. but it sits ill in your stomach, the fire from before heats up again to boil your organs with an unfamiliar sickness.

"...no."

"no?"

you glare at him again. it's incredible how your eyes don't burn when you talk because your body is steaming from all of the emotions you're withholding. "no." you say. "the moment i become apathetic to death is the moment i stopped trying. i don't... i don't want to..."

it sounds silly. stupid. the rebellion of someone sinking and unwilling to admit they can't swim. this is why yaga-sensei kept telling you to temper your mind because getting emotional is no good. but you can't shut down the images of lifeless eyes staring back at you. memories of familiar faces turning indistinguishable replay in your head in a broken reel.

an endless loop without escape and maybe a hell of your own creation.

you swallow and turn away. you aren't going to have this conversation with him, not without coming out of it broken into dust when you're already fragmented.

"...hey," suguru's hand lands on your shoulder and your body turn rigid to stop pushing him away. "i'm not telling you to stop caring, i know you can't." he's trying to find the words to use. you know it because his breath hitches. "it's a part of our line of work, it's fine to grieve and you should grieve... but you have to be quick at picking yourself up since there are others to save too."

suguru breathes in, then out. "there are people we can yet save, we can't spend all of that time worrying about our mistakes and regrets."

"you make it sound easy."

"it isn't, but it has to be," you hear it, the resignation in his voice. "sometimes, we have to pick our battle and do whatever we can. we aren't invincible, nobody is."

"you're hurting satoru's feelings," you point out, unable to resist the opportunity to quip. "he'd argue fervently that he's as close to perfection as one can be."

but suguru only smiles, "i believe if i did, he'd have something to say about it," then, he turns his head back, his voice raised, "wouldn't you agree, satoru?"

to your surprise, an unexpected newcomer pops out from the wall behind the two of you. a mess of white hair, black glasses, and a grin that lacks the normal lustre. "oi, don't sell me out," despite what he said, satoru voluntarily steps towards you from his hiding place.

had it not for suguru's revelation, you don't think you would've noticed him. somehow, that makes you tired. "why in the world are you hiding?" you ask. "do you know how weird that is?"

satoru only shrugs when he reached you. "thought it was better to leave suguru to talk to you, i don't even know where to begin with this." it's weird to hear satoru admitting weakness, but you don't comment on it. he scratches the back of his neck, awkward out of nowhere. "it's not that i don't care enough to make an effort, it's that..."

"you might say something that triggers the wrong nerve?" you drawl. "like you did before?"

you hear suguru chuckles, but satoru only grins, "spot on," he says, "we do worry about you, you know, but some of us don't have the talent to deal with fragility like others." he nudges you with his foot.

you snort, momentarily distracted by his attitude, "asshat," you elbow back at his leg, "at least you're good at making me mad at something else."

"hey~ it's a talent," then he plops down behind the two of you, "better for you to be mad at something inconsequential~"

"well, we can't deny that he's uniquely equipped in pissing people off," suguru chimes in airily, you can't help but snickering at his comment.

"you guys, honestly..." surprisingly, you find yourself smiling. but then, a single thought touches you and steals that smile away. "...wait, i'm skipping class... and the two of you are here... oh shit."

you hear him before you feel him.

by skipping class, you'd sooner or later face the consequence of a pissed yaga-sensei and you had expected later rather than sooner. but apparently, with three fourth of the class missing, your teacher had no choice but to take the matter into his own hands.

you're already shivering by the time you turn back and meet his eyes. nothing but pure death.

"you fools."

the punches land down on the three of your heads too fast to react. briefly, your life, you accumulated past mistakes, your will to live, all of them flash in front of your eyes at once.

"ouch!"

"ack!"

"mercy!"

although, if there's any comfort to gain from this, at least his anger will be split three ways.

#gojo satoru #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fics

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ladylooch · 1 year ago

Note

“When opponents bring up Emma, the gloves are dropped.”

Oh should we explore this? I feel like we are having so much fun with timo and Emma rn

Obvi this is where lio gets it from

Do I want to explore this? OBVIOUSLY! Also, lil pause to say thank you for loving these two. I love my OCs so much and it fills my writer cup up to do these blurbs 🥰

Anyone who trash talks Emma gets both Timo AND Nico in their face. So they probably just shouldn’t. But hockey boys aren’t always smart…

My eyes water a bit as I yawn, sitting in the family suite at the Prudential Center. Liv is sleeping in her carrier on me after her latest feeding. Lio is munching on a chicken finger, eyes following his dad around the ice. Timo and Nico are both out on the power play. Lexi is home sick with Lucie, so it’s a relatively quiet game tonight including on the ice where the score remains 0-0.

The puck moves along the perimeter quickly until it gets to Nico. He passes it back to Dougie, then to Jesper, then back to Nico. My brother saucers the pass across the slot to my husband, who one-times it into the back of the net.

“Hey there we go!” I cheer, watching the replay on the Jumbotron. “Daddy!” I poke Lio’s side.

“I know I saw it.” He beams up. “Can I have ice cream now that dad scored?”

“I’m not sure what one has to do with the other?” I chuckle, but wave him up to the food to grab a bin of dippin’ dots. “Mom tax.” I open my mouth, letting him feed me a little bite.

Timo is skating back onto the ice after his goal when a Blackhawks players starts jawing at him. Timo looks over his shoulder at the guy, smirking as he comes to line up next to him. Timo suddenly stands tall, cross checking his opponent in the chest. Nico is getting ready to take the face off circle then abruptly stands up too, coming over to the other winger across from my husband. Nico shoves at him too. More talking resumes. The ref tries to get between them, but it’s too late. Timo and Nico both go after the same guy. Gloves are flying. Sticks are dropped. One guy tries to get in to pull Timo off. He shoves that guy in the face and keeps going after the original player.

“Oh boy.” I mutter, rubbing at my forehead. The arena stands. I do as well because I am so anxious watching them both fight. I put my mouth on Liv’s head, smoothing my hand over the back of her hair as well.

“Dad is mad.” Lio murmurs, eyes wide and excited. “Get him.” He pounds his little fist into his palm.

“Ah… no.”

“Why?” Lio murmurs. I can’t really lecture him on violence when both his dad and uncle are punching people.

“Because it’s not.. nice.”

After we get home and put the kids to bed, I finally ask Timo what that was all about. We are in the closet changing into our bed time apparel.

“This motherfucker.” He starts off, stopping from changing out of his suit. His eyes are all squinty as he retells the story. “He was talking about you. Nico and I felt he needed to never do that again. So we took care of it.”

“I can’t believe you both jumped him at the same time.” I shake my head, pulling my flannel pajama pants up my legs.

“I mean, the opportunity was presented, so why not?”

“Well, your son was mimicking your punches.”

“Our son saw me beat a guy's ass defending you today. I’m okay with that.” He kisses me as he walks out of the closet in only his boxer briefs. “Why you putting pants on? I’m just gonna take them off.” I ignore that, going back to the real issue.

“When he is older and beats a kid up on the playground, I expect you to be on my side with that.”

“Sure, baby.” He says. “Now come here.”

I walk to the bed, crawling onto his lap. He leans back into the pillows, hands on my hips as I look him over.

“He got you.” I murmur, seeing red under his left eye along with other signs of bruising.

“One. Compared to my fifteen.”

“At least you landed a punch. I couldn’t quite figure out what Nico was doing.”

“Me either. I had to tell him to find someone else.” I lean my head back, laughing at the ceiling, remember how Nico went off to grab the closest Blackhawk. Timo leans forward, kissing along the swells of my breasts that are off limits again. I sigh with pleasure when his nose outlines my nipple through my shirt

“Hey.” I tug his hair softly. He knows why.

“So bossy tonight.”

“You like me that way.” He nods in agreement.

“So what did this guy say?” I ask. Timo sighs like he wants to be done talking about it.

“He said your pussy probably dries up like the desert when you see me.” I burst out laughing. Tears are pooling in my eyes. Timo flips me to my back and crawls over me. His marked up hands pin my wrists on either side of my head as I shake with laughter.

“You know that is not true.” I try to take my hand away to wipe at the tears. He holds me in place.

“I do know that.” He glides a hand into my pants to prove his point. “But that fuck stick shouldn’t be talking about your pussy. And Nico agreed with me so we went. Together. Defending your honor.” I try to get my laughing under control, but then I think about it and start all over again. “You could be a little more grateful.” He mumbles against my mouth, trying to shut me up.

“I sure could.” I pick up his left hand in mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, then swing my full momentum to rotate on top again. Timo is stunned below me. “But I can take care of myself. I’ll fight him next time. Defend your honor.” Timo collects my shirt, bringing it up my body and over my head.

“Mhm, okay baby. Whatever you say.”

#TM: Loving & Leaving

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wandringaesthetic · 8 days ago

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I bought NEO: The World Ends With You directly after it came out [checks] two years ago, played it a couple times between other games since then but somehow had not much drive to progress through it due to.... A variety of reasons. Only some were due the game itself. I feel twewy is probably best enjoyed in small bites rather than big chunks and that doesn't really vibe with my life as it is right now and how I play games usually.

Some context: The World Ends With You is a Nintendo DS game. I played it circa 2008, not long after its release. It is one of the best games I have ever played that I might not ever play again. It's on a system I don't have reason to carry around anymore, it's structured in a way that makes a replay difficult for me personally, and I played it at a time when I was very unhappy. The game's style and music and vibes are so singular that it takes me back to that time, and I personally don't want to go there.

I attempted to play it on the Switch but found the translation of the controls for that system awkward and I struggle to revisit things even under ideal circumstances and even when I would like to.

So I have trouble justifying this, because I struggle so much to revisit it, but I think the original TWEWY might be one of the best video games ever made. Or, at the very least, it is an extremely singular game that Should be replicated but is extraordinarily difficult to. The control scheme is tied to the DS. It's EXTREMELY of it's moment, which is always risky. Fashion is a central mechanic. Characters speak in modern slang, which runs the risk of something that was current at the time of the writing will sound hokey by the time it's actually released. [I'm of two minds about NEO's "DROP THE BEAT!" in its combo bars. It's been a LONG time since the summer of wub. Or.... Did that phrase escape dubstep to be part of the general parlance? I'm in my 30s. Anything bleeding edge should be incomprehensible to me, right?)

I hate hate HATE how this game was talked about by gaming media and YouTubers and so forth. I hate that they rarely talked about the game itself. I hate that this had an influence on how everyone thought about this game. I hate that it had an influence on ME. Nearly everything I heard about NEO from an outside source regarded how poorly it sold. As if that actually said anything about its quality. As if everyone doesn't fucking know that those sales figures rely so heavily on preorders and the hype/advertising machine. I feel like this game was treated like Forspoken--a game that exists as it does due to a confluence of conflicting factors in hardware and development philosophy and corporate politics, an interesting but ultimately not very good game. NEO: twewy is not that. NEO twewy is the long awaited sequel to the best game on the DS. NEO: twewy is the sequel to one of the best action JRPGs of all time with most of its key personnel returning. It's... Good? It is not as good as the original, but it's good.

In part I get it. This game is neither fish nor fowl. It's not a AAA game and it's not an indie. It has an indie-ish vibe but you're not supporting the little guy by buying this. It walks and talks like a handheld game, but it's not. It's a PS4 game near the end of the life cycle of the PS4.

#twewy #neo twewy #from my drafts #i wrote this whenever I played it which was like a year ago #plus

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carrinth · 1 year ago

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Whelp I've done it. Just finished Witch Hunt which now marks the end of my Dragon: Age Origins run. 10/10 would recommend. Especially Awakening and Witch Hunt DLC.

And y'know what? Witch Hunt was worth it for this moment. A fitting end for my Warden. Reunited with his love (and baby mama) and peaces out of work and responsibilities via magic mirror. Just look at that face. I think this is honestly the first time I've seen my Warden-Commander smile in a LONG time. Poor guy.

Minor DA2 rant below cut;

Actually I finished it awhile ago but had been procrastinating by replaying Awakening.

Because uggghhhhhh... I don't want to play DA2.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll grow to love Hawke again but right now my mood is just... meh. Replaying Origins and all its DLCs just made the differences in quality and content between the two all the more jarring. Aaaand on a more personal level -- I don't want to stop being a Grey Warden. ಥ_ಥ

For the last near 150 hours, I was sold on being a Grey Warden. In fact, I think my best fun was Awakening where I actually got to BE a Grey Warden doing Grey Warden things WITH OTHER GREY WARDENS. We ALL drank the nasty juice! It was a bonding experience! This game spent so much time building up the lore and excitement of being a Grey Warden -- leaving so many unanswered questions about the Taint, the Blight, what it all means, dO wE GET griFFONs -- only to just... drop it all in DA2.

I'm just so confused by the direction DA2 went. Replaying Origins with the knowledge of the upcoming mage/templar plot in DA2, the conflict in Origins felt... minor. Sure we get hints here and there that things are Kinda Bad. But nothing major. Heck, I played a Circle Mage as my Origin and I never felt that 'Oh wow, mage rebellion should totally be Main Focus of the next game!' Like don't get me wrong, mage/templar conflict is 😌👌but the Darkspawn and Grey Wardens was what set Dragon Age apart from other fantasy.

"Well the Blight's over Carrinth, there's no more story to tell about Grey Wardens" you say. And yet, Awakening did a fantastic job of making an entire campaign post-Blight.

Part of me feels like if they didn't want to keep the Main Character the same (ala Mass Effect with Cmdr Shepard) then couldn't they have still made the DA2 MC a grey warden? Like a junior(?) Warden that's investigating Corypheus or whatever in Kirkwall but gets caught in the mage/templar mess. Sure we would have gotten a very different story but would that have been so bad?

In the end, I will likely end up playing DA2, if only for the excellent companions and to reunite with my Sad Mage and Angry Spirit Husbands. But at the moment... *sigh*

So goodbye Marzel Amell. You were the best Warden-Commander and I had fun throwing Storm of the Century on fools, flexing my maxed out Coercion, and painstakingly working out TACTICS. I will probably still keep stubbornly drawing Awakening fanart (because I am Not Normal about those idiots) but DA2 stuff will likely eventually bleed in. ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Farewell Marzel and go live gloriously in mirror land with ur spider lady and kid.

#dragon age stuff #marzel amell #carrinth's continued da adventures #minor DA2 rant

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lizisshortforlizard · 1 year ago

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Living Dangerously - Chapter 30

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?

A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.

But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: some swears, harassment and misogyny in the workplace

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 @kmc1989 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates)

Read on Ao3

Chapter 29 | Chapter 31

I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

It turned out be a different sort of sleepless night to what Lizzy had been hoping for.

The wrong kind.

She had lain awake for what few hours remained until morning, tossing, turning, occasionally weeping. Any sleep she managed to grasp was fitful, feeling like it only lasted a few seconds at a time.

She kept replaying what had happened in the clearing, each time a little more painful. Wondering how she could have behaved differently. How it could have turned out better than this unbearable limbo in which she didn't know where she stood anymore. Whether she'd just forever destroyed one of the best professional relationships she'd ever had.

It was all her fault, of course it was.

Why did she keep doing this? It felt eerily similar to the last time she’d engaged without thinking of the consequences. It had nearly ruined someone else’s life back then, as well as her own. History was repeating itself, and she only had herself to blame.

And now, once again, she had to live with the uncomfortable reality. She’d argue that it clearly wasn’t taking advantage from either side, in fact Lizzy would be bold enough to say they were both very much in agreement. But InGen’s legal department probably wouldn’t see it the same way.

Admit it, girl. You fucked up.

Dawn came, and she finally forced herself to get out of bed and pretend to be human. She should be looking forward to going out into the park again and seeing her animals, now that she wasn’t alone and it was relatively safe to do so, but she was dreading it. Unsure what she’d do when she inevitably bumped into Muldoon again.

Pretend it never happened or meet him head on?

I don’t think I have it in me this time.

She was in the canteen, laying low, listlessly poking at her scrambled eggs with a fork. Lizzy had cooked them herself, but they were far from her usual standard and didn't taste of anything other than disappointment.

She heard the familiar Jeep engine outside, and the shower of gravel as it ground to a halt. Lizzy shrunk down in her chair, staring at her plate in dread.

I’m better at breakfast.

Be the one to wake me up in the morning.

God, why did I do it?

At least the coffee was worth leaving her room for.

It was the first thing Muldoon noticed as soon as he walked in. She hadn’t brought one over for him, like she usually did. Message received, loud and clear.

The one small act she did for him almost every day, and he hadn’t even appreciated it properly until it had stopped. That was enough to get him to talk first. Armstrong did something when she made coffee. Invoked a higher power. Witchcraft. Somehow she always got it exactly right.

This wouldn’t do at all.

“Good morning.”

“It is?” She replied dully, glancing up with red-rimmed eyes. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“You’re late for work.” He pointed out. “How are you doing?”

“Well, that’s a kick in the teeth.” She muttered. “But, if you’re genuinely asking? Annoyed. No, that’s not right. Vexed? Hm. Frustrated. Mostly at myself.”

“Armstrong-“ Muldoon awkwardly stood in front of her. “I probably owe you an explanation.”

“No need. I thought you made it pretty clear, actually.” She felt the sting of rejection anew. It was more painful than she’d reckoned to talk about it. “You don’t owe me squat.”

“I could have handled things better.” He pulled out a chair to sit opposite her. “It all happened rather quickly.”

“You were handling things just fine.” Lizzy gave up on her eggs, pushing her plate away before sitting back and folding her arms. “What changed?” What exactly had changed? It was hard to explain, but what it came down to was-

“Too fast."

She blinked, confused. ”Say again?”

Muldoon wished more than anything that Baker was around to keep him on the right track, guide him with what to say.

”…moving too fast.”

”Well, thanks for the clarification.” Lizzy replied dryly. “And that’s…bad?”

It was, it didn’t feel right, to be suddenly rushing matters in the dark. Outside…fair enough, but in the back of a bloody Jeep?!

Or maybe on the bonnet of his Jeep-

No, stop that.

He wasn’t sure quite what had happened, but he’d forgotten his responsibilities. Keep her safe. And risking her career for the sake of one night together did not fall into that bracket. No matter how strongly he felt. How he felt didn’t matter. Hadn’t mattered for a long time.

“Don’t want one and done.” He tried to explain, despite the relentless stare from the other side of the table. “Can’t do it.”

Not with her. Everything or nothing at all. Anything else would never be enough. He was trying to voice that sentiment out loud, but he didn’t have the words. He barely had the syllables.

“It’s not right, either. We already knew that.“ Muldoon gave up. She’d have to trust him, he was doing his best. If she could still trust him. ”Does that help, at all?”

“Yes…” Then her face crumpled.

He looked at her closely. ”Are you lying to me?”

”Yes!” It all came pouring out in a high-pitched hurry. “You’ve been mad at me before and I’ve understood why. But, after, and when we were driving back-…I couldn’t read you, at all!”

Lizzy put her head in her hands and mumbled something beyond his range of hearing.

She thought he was angry with her? That’s what she was most upset about?

Muldoon reached out and gently but firmly pulled her hand away from her mouth.

”Again, please.”

”…really thought I’d lost you.” She whispered.

“Well, you certainly have a flair for the dramatic, Lizzy.” He kept hold of her hand, she let him.

”Are you implying I’m overreacting?” She choked out. “Because women love that.”

”To be clear, I’m not mad at you. I’ve never once been mad at you.”

”Are you sure?”

“Positive. Annoyed, maybe. Vexed? Once or twice.” Lizzy groaned when she realised what he was doing. “Frustrated…you get the idea.”

”Oh, that’s not fair.” She muttered.

“But I’d find it very hard to live with, if you were dismissed because of something I did. Or might possibly do, if we were to, er-…” He looked uncomfortable. “-you know.”

"Suppose that’s a good point. Damn you for being so rational. I love my job.” She glanced up. “The people, eh...."

"Indeed, people are awful. Most people, at any rate." He quietly agreed. "This island would be bloody idyllic if we weren't going to be overrun by guests in a few short months.”

“So, where do we go from here?” Lizzy was already dreading the answer.

“I don’t think…we are going anywhere. You and I-" Muldoon looked resigned. "-have to carry on as before.”

“Like nothing ever happened?”

”I’m afraid so. Strictly professional.”

“But that’s not what I want.” May as well say it.

“Nor me.” Lizzy wondered if him tracing circles on the back of her hand was conscious or otherwise. “But it’s what we have to do.”

Sobriety would be a distant memory if he was responsible for ruining her career.

“Still the funniest story I’ve ever heard.” She muttered after a few moments, breaking the tension.

“Good.” Her laugh. That ridiculous laugh that he couldn’t stop thinking about. “That’ll keep me going for a while.”

Lizzy nodded and managed a wonky smile. She felt like crying again, it seemed horribly like saying a goodbye. "We'll be okay, right?"

"I don't even want to imagine the alternative."

This is the right choice. This is the right choice. This is the right choice.

Doesn't feel right. Feels bloody awful.

Lizzy tilted her head, pushing her body towards him, her candour returning. “Did you like it, though?”

”Excuse me?” He had to have misheard, but the mischief in her expression was telling him otherwise.

”You heard. Did you-“

A noise from the doorway startled them both. Muldoon dropped her hand quick as a flash, Lizzy tried not to let her face fall in dismay.

Kathy Baker was clattering into the canteen, struggling yet again with her bag, which looked even heavier than when she’d left before Christmas.

“Found you, finally!” Kathy called and waved. "Oh, hey, you came back early! What gives?"

“Nothing.” In a role reversal, Muldoon quickly answered for them both, while Lizzy was the one who baulked.

“O-kay…jeez, answer faster.” Kathy gave up on her bag and abandoned it at the door, clumping over to their table, still in her winter boots. “Girl, before you ask, yes, I got the goods. Here, you’re welcome.”

She passed Lizzy a box of liquorice which was met with a pleased but slightly frantic ‘ooh!’.

“Have you been crying?” Kathy asked her matter-of-factly.

“Just allergies.” Lizzy sniffed and wiped her eyes, looking at the floor.

“Uh-huh...” Kathy darted a quick glance at Muldoon, before drumming her recently manicured nails on the back of a chair, building up. "This is kinda perfect actually. I wanted to tell you two first out of everyone, obviously, but not over the phone. I, uh...I have some news."

The way she was avoiding eye contact with both of them, Lizzy could guess what it was. She quickly forced a smile. "You got the job?"

"Yeah, I got the job..." Kathy tried her best to look dismayed, before the grin burst through and she bounced on her tiptoes. "Guys, I got the job!"

Lizzy scrambled up to congratulate, quelling the geyser of rage, dread and panic that was bubbling up inside, feigning happiness for her friend. “What’d I tell you? You’re incredible!”

”I know, I’m kind of a big deal!” Kathy giggled, squeezing her tight. “First woman to ever hold the post in the history of the Smithsonian! I’m gonna have an office! I don’t have to work weekends anymore! I’m gonna have a life!”

“Alright for some.” Muldoon wasn’t so enthused.

Kathy broke away from Lizzy, hands on her hips. “Go on then, let me have it.”

"Well done. Knew you’d get it."

Lizzy shook her head. Damn man was proud as Hell, just doing his stubborn best not to show it.

“It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be here for a while, until you can find my replacement.” Kathy pointed down at the top of Lizzy’s head and stage whispered pick her.

“How long have I got?”

”Until August. “I can hang in there until August, right? What could go wrong before then?” Kathy laughed nervously then abruptly stopped at the alarmed look they both gave her.

“Plenty.” Muldoon huffed.

Lizzy agreed with him. ”Best not to answer that.”

***

Kathy wasn’t the only one who brought Lizzy dessert as a souvenir on their return.

Rico, the youngest but not least talented member the Carnivore Team was making his way towards her brandishing a Paupério tin that was far too dented and discoloured to be new. This looked promising unless, God forbid, it turned out to contain a sewing kit. Lizzy had been burned before.

“For you!” He was calling to her as he jogged along.

Her face lit up at the sight. “That looks homemade, boy. Tell me it’s homemade.”

Rico caught up, handing her the tin. “From my mama, for you.”

“You really didn’t have to…” Lizzy tried to remain polite though she was dying to rip the lid off and tuck in. Dinner time was still achingly far away.

“Yes I did. She made me swear I wouldn’t touch any.”

Have you been making friends, niño?

I have, at least one.

The strange Scottish lady was always nice to him, even if she was scarily forthright at times, and it had taken Rico a couple of weeks to figure out that she used certain rude words not as insults, but as terms of endearment.

“I’ve got good cigarros too if you want one, but don’t tell mama about those.” He tapped the side of his nose.

“Have you done something bad?” Lizzy asked warily. “I’m not being funny, but this is too much-“

“It’s just a thank you. You look out for me.” Rico said simply. “It was rough, at the start, but you wouldn’t let me stay in my room alone. I hated it at first, when you dragged me out all the time, but I know why you did it.”

His shoulders drooped. “When I can’t remember the word for something, you don’t make fun of me. The other guys still do, sometimes.”

Lizzy hadn’t really thought about it before. But he was around the same age as her brothers. And it was true, his English hadn’t been the best at the beginning. She knew all to well what it was like to be the outsider, not being confident to chip in when everyone else spoke a different language to you. She hadn’t wanted the youngest member of the team to feel left out or worthless. The boy was good. Not long left school and already working for InGen? He was going places.

Rico was somewhat of a phenomenon. He was quiet and thoughtful, introverted, but he had a way with the dinosaurs that Lizzy was envious of. Even the most timid of creatures could be coaxed forward by Rico. He was just good at it. Something about how he spoke to them, how he moved, he had a calming influence.

People had their favourite animals, and the reverse was equally true. The dinosaurs just liked him, most were comfortable being around him.

It had made other people jealous, some who weren’t as happy to just shut up and deal with it as Lizzy was. She had even considered asking Muldoon if Rico could become a handler for the infant raptor. He would be good for her, she was certain.

“It’s just banter.” She reassured. That was true enough, but one or two of the guys had a bad habit of pushing it into cruel territory. Words needed to be had. “Although Tom really is an arse. Don’t ever listen to him.”

She resisted the urge to ruffle Rico’s hair, like an unbearable aunt. He’s a grown man. He’s taller than you.

But he had such a baby face she couldn’t help but want to look after him. Maybe it was guilt. She missed her brothers by far the most out of all her siblings. It had been so long since she’d seen them.

“What would I do without you, kid?” She glanced down at the tin gratefully. “And your mother’s baking. Seriously, she could sell these.”

“You won’t ever find out.” He sidled closer, looking like he was getting ready to tell her a secret. “Listen, I want to see Africa. The Africa you and the boss talk about. See a wild elephant.”

“All these dinosaurs right here and you want to see an elephant?” She couldn’t help but smile.

He laughed. “A wild elephant. Just promise you’ll take me along, next time you go, yes?”

”Sure. I might know somebody who could give you the tour.” Unable to resist any longer, Lizzy started breaking open the tin and she nearly teared up at how delicious the contents smelled. “Oh my God. Can you bring your mum too?”

He seemed to seriously consider it before nodding. “I’ll ask her?”

***

“Hey!" Later that day Kathy sneaked up behind her and tapped Lizzy on the shoulder. “Got a bone to pick with you.”

The old reliable Baker intuition was yelling loudly in her head, yet again. Niggling in her thoughts for several days. She couldn’t ignore it any longer. Kathy pointed a finger in accusation at her friend and cried triumphantly:

”You got laid!”

“What?!” Lizzy's eyes darted back and forth. "Shhhh!"

"You did!" Kathy gasped. "Oh my God, you did!"

”I did not!” Lizzy made a grab for her friend, trying to clamp a hand over her mouth, something, anything to stop her. “What the Hell, Kathy?”

“You’re, I dunno-“ The Team Leader wriggled free and shrugged, unconvinced. “-different?”

“Yeah, well. You’re wrong. Nothing happened at New Year.” Lizzy insisted. “Ro-uh…Muldoon and I went out for a drive, that was all.”

The at least partly true white lie that both of them had discussed and agreed on together.

“Who said anything about New Year?” Kathy raised an eyebrow. “You…did?” Lizzy stalled helplessly.

“I didn’t mention Muldoon, either. That’s where your mind went though, huh?”

”Er-“ Lizzy started to panic.

”He came back early, to check you were okay, you were all alone here for a whole night and- oh, don’t give me that look! And ‘nothing happened’?” Kathy was still sceptical. “Yeah, right!”

She recalled the moment she had first suspected things may have changed between them. She peeked through the window just before she’d entered the canteen, nearly screamed in exhilaration and then saw how quickly Muldoon dropped Lizzy’s hand when he heard the door opening. Like a hot potato. Her heart had dropped just as quickly, and she caught the noise ready to burst forth from her throat in the nick of time.

Whatever had been going on, she clearly wasn’t meant to see. “Cross my heart.”

”Really? Nothing?” Kathy was still crestfallen. “You finally had the island to yourselves, and nothing at all?”

Lizzy considered how he had made her laugh harder than she had laughed in a long time, maybe even in her whole life. A moment that regardless of whatever happened between them now, she’d likely remember until the end of her days.

Kathy was looking at her expectantly, while Lizzy’s memory was a mile or so away, in her favourite place in the park, with the stars above and the Rex rumbling away like a purring cat as the fire crackled.

”Well, not exactly nothing at all.” Lizzy’s mouth finally curved into a smile. “But if I told you, you’d probably never believe me.”

***

”Regis, why is my Jeep boxed in?”

”Uh…sorry Muldoon, I’m losing you-crrrhhhsshshhh.” The group of animal handlers all saw Ed discretely switch his radio off with a loud click.

A couple of weeks into January, New Year a distant memory, but Lizzy’s stomach still flipped whenever she heard the park warden’s voice. Carrying on as normal was working, for the most part. But she couldn’t simply forget and move on. Feelings don’t just go away, you only adapt to get better at dealing with them over time. If you’re lucky.

Fortunately, a welcome distraction was in progress. Preparations were underway for an official event on the island. The front of the visitor centre was positively bustling.

"Thought they weren't opening the park until the autumn?" Lizzy critically eyed the deliveries that were turning up left, right and centre. The supply boat that morning had been sitting much lower in the water than usual.

"These are investors, idiot. They aren't guests. They need to see we’ve made good use of their money, so that they give us more!" Tom flicked her ear for emphasis, causing Lizzy to take a swipe at him, which he dodged easily. "Or we’re screwed. So Eddie’s gotta get his nose right in there."

"I don’t think they’ve ordered enough stuff.” When she turned back to look again, Lizzy could have sworn the number of boxes had somehow tripled.

”You’re doing a great job, buddy. Keep it up!” Tom yelled over to Regis, whose neck quickly turned red under his freckles. “Don’t call me buddy!”

“Would you stop?” Lizzy elbowed him. “One of these days, he will throw something at you.”

”Hope it’s not gonna be valuable, cos it won’t have my good self to cushion the blow. He’ll miss.” His self-assurance was still grating.

”Wanna bet?” Lizzy remembered Trenton Thunder. “Baseball nut over there.”

”So Daddy played catch with him, big whoop.” Tom replied, grinding out his cigarette with his boot heel.

“Can you guys make yourselves useful and keep an eye out for the ice sculpture arriving?” Regis trotted over to them. “I gotta go do a thing…”

”Yeah, sure. We basically get paid to stand around, anyway.” Kathy replied cheerfully.

“This event-“ Lizzy queried. “-are we invited?"

”Absolutely not.” Regis denied. “In fact, you in particular are barred, Armstrong, for obvious reasons.”

”Aw, Ed!” She feigned upset. “You know that just makes me want to go even more!”

“Ain’t gonna happen, Liz.” Regis carefully pulled a transparent plastic garment bag out of a box full of packing peanuts. It contained a very short, very red cocktail dress. “So quit asking.”

“That’s gonna clash with your hair.” Tom pointed out.

”It’s for María!” Regis snarled back at him.

“That’s not fair! Why does she get to go? You have catering staff flying over.” Lizzy was still on his case.

Ed gave her a lopsided grin. ”Eye candy.”

”Huh?” Lizzy and Kathy said in unison, shooting each other confused glances.

“Okay, I see what happens.” Tom stepped forward. “Let me paint a picture for you, girls. You’ve got a lot of rich, lonely, powerful men in a room together, far away from their wives and mistresses, trying to prove who’s got the biggest dick. You need a little entertainment. Something pretty to look at. Grease the wheels.”

Regis clicked his fingers. “Bingo.”

“Oh, that’s disgusting. That’s disgusting.” Kathy was horrified.

“Nobody touch anything.” Off Ed Regis went, garment bag slung over his shoulder. Presumably to find the unwilling future occupant of the dress.

"Team Meeting, now.” Lizzy announced.

The eight animal handlers huddled.

”I move that we do something. I want to find out where all their money's going. Because it sure as Hell isn't on the animals. Or us. Y’know, the people who actually do the work.” Lizzy's expression became stormy. "They're going to take advantage of her. And Ed's going to sit back, drink his lite beer, and watch it happen."

"In another win for human evolution, public relations manager achieves upright stance sans spinal column." Kathy muttered dryly. “That’s cold, Kit.” Tom sounded impressed. “Attagirl, you’ll be as cynical as Liz and I by the time you leave this place.”

“Well, she has a point!” The Team Leader gestured. “We can’t leave María there alone. They’ll eat her alive.”

"So you agree?" Lizzy jumped on her chance. “I’m commandeering the situation?”

"Girl..." Kathy shook her head. "Girl, he's gonna kill you...getting involved…”

"I can handle Ed." Lizzy said confidently.

"Ed's not the one I was talking about, sweetie.”

“We’re gonna see Liz in a dress? Looking like an actual woman?” Tom smirked at her expression full of disgust. "Hey, you gotta. It’s a formal. You’ll need something that doesn't scream 'I shovel crap for a living'."

”Oh sure, let me just go pick one of my many ballgowns out of the wardrobe.” Lizzy gestured from her flyaway head to her mud-caked boots. "Are you blind?"

”You and María are about the same height. You wouldn’t look terrible in red, if it’s low lighting-“

”Jeez, Tom! Stop encouraging her!” Kathy moaned. “This is a terrible idea.” “As much as I hate to admit she’s right, better Liz than María.” The Texan stuck to his guns. “And you know it, Kit.”

“That’s settled then. All in favour?” Lizzy called the vote.

Six ayes were heard from the men before they looked to the Carnivore Leader for her choice. But she still hesitated.

Come on, girl.

The seconds ticked by. Tom smirked confidentially at Lizzy before asking loudly: “Kit, you wanna go grab Ed that cappuccino, or what?”

“Oh, I’m so gonna regret this.” Kathy wearily nodded. “You win.”

***

God, I'm starving.

Lizzy had poured herself into the tiny cocktail dress meant for Maria, far more petite and less muscular than she was. The Haitian was more than happy to be relieved of her duties for the evening, kissing Lizzy on both cheeks before practically flinging the dress in the ethologist’s direction and gliding away down the corridor to do God-knew-what. Watering the plastic plants, probably.

The cheap fabric was working particularly hard underneath her arms and around the tops of her thighs. As well as doing hair and make-up, Kathy had reluctantly helped pile her into the nightmare dress and zip her up. She felt like an overstuffed sausage, and already had blisters forming from the high heels, rubbing her feet raw as she shuffled around with tiny steps.

But the place Lizzy felt most under-dressed was on her left hand.

She wished she’d had the foresight to put her engagement ring back on, which she still hadn’t found the willpower to shove in an envelope and send back to Simon. At least it would offer some protection for a few hours. Lizzy looked around the room. String quartet, ice sculpture, flowers everywhere…the opulence of it made her feel uneasy.

She had a flashback to her apartment in the States, something Simon had divulged while complaining about a flamboyantly rich but cantankerous client as they were unpacking groceries together. Very rich people didn’t show off how much money they had. They didn’t have to. They tended to be quietly generous and classy about it. People who acted like they were still trying to prove something, they might be well-off, but they weren’t rich rich.

Lizzy herself had fallen for it in the beginning, but as time went on, increasingly often she began to suspect that Hammond was the latter. Everything for show. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

She caught sight of the man himself in the corner of her eye, amber-topped cane in hand, and remembered the reason she was enduring such torture in the first place. To secure better care, more money specifically for the dinosaurs. Lizzy tottered over, tugging the hem of her dress down as she approached.

“John?”

He turned and looked at her blankly. She knew what he was thinking. You weren’t on the guest list.

”It’s me, Lizzy.” She could forgive him a few moments hesitation, she’d probably never worn this much make-up in her life.

“Lizzy?”

She began to get annoyed. What happened to ‘my dear old granny was a Lizzy’? Anyway, she’d always considered herself fairly memorable.

This was not a good start.

“Doctor Armstrong? From Namibia?” She gestured helplessly, at a loss for what else she could say to jog his memory. “The ethologist.”

“It’s Mr Hammond, tonight, dear. If you don’t mind.”

“Alright-“

“I’m fairly busy, I’m afraid. Why don’t you go and mingle? We’ll catch up later.”

“Wait, no-“ Lizzy knew well enough that there most likely wouldn’t be a later.

“Please, Miss Armstrong. Another time.” And he gently took her arm and guided her away, leaving her all alone, facing the wall as he resumed his conversation.

Not quite sure how she had lost her hold on the situation, Lizzy vowed to try a different tactic. As she was busy scanning the rest of the venue for anyone who might be worth talking to, she didn’t notice one of the businessmen swanning over to her, until it was too late to get away.

“Where’s Hammond been hiding this one, then?” American. Mid-West. Sweating profusely. “Forget the ice sculpture, why didn’t they just put you up on the table?”

Lizzy recoiled. “I’m a scientist.”

“Ah, she’s funny too. Not dressed like that, you aren’t.”

Lizzy really wasn’t a fan of being referred to in the third person.

”Really, she’s a PhD.” She flushed in anger. “She studies animal behaviour.”

And you’re behaving like an animal.

”Wait-“ He pointed at her face, closely scrutinising. “-I know you from somewhere-“

Not again.

In yet another event from her past that occasionally came back to haunt her, Lizzy had undertaken a couple of modelling jobs as a first-year student at NYU.

Nothing big. One or two jobs for the campus magazine, then it had kind of snowballed. She didn’t even know what some of the photographs were ultimately used for. But her face, and the rest of her, was definitely in print for something other than behavioural research. It offered a few extra dollars here and there, until Simon had asked her to stop, telling her she didn't have to worry about money now she was with him. She'd obliged, but it had been kind of fun, at the time.

It happened more than once in New York, sometimes a stranger, usually an older man, most likely on the subway would give her a funny look. She’d know exactly why, and she’d huddle closer to Simon and try not to make eye contact before they reached their stop.

New York and a tiny Costa Rican island, it seemed. Just her luck.

”No, you don’t!” She insisted and turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and she had no choice but to turn to face him to keep herself from toppling over in her high heels.

”How much-“

His grip hurt. Lizzy looked around in panic, searching for Ed Regis in the crowd. She didn’t want to make a scene, but if there was no other choice…Ed would help her, right?

Right?!

“Hey, back off, pal. The only one who gets to talk down to her is me.”

From somewhere close behind her came the low Southern drawl she both looked forward to and dreaded equally. The voice she hated being on the wrong side of, the one that meant trouble, had antagonised her time and time again. And she’d never been so glad to hear it defending her.

Tom’s hulking frame cast a long shadow over both Lizzy and the strange man who was intent on getting to know her better.

“Look, here-“ The investor was bristling at the intrusion.

”Move along, now, buddy.” Tom gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, a little bit harder than was polite or necessary, but not enough to get him into trouble. “Trust me, you don’t wanna find out the price for this one. It’s measured in rounds, and I don’t mean at the bar.”

The stranger grunted unhappily and finally beat it, avoiding looking Lizzy in the eye.

She relaxed slightly, her hands trembling. The smell of old cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave had never been so reassuring.

“About damn time.” She tried to act breezy, but the words sounded forced. Lizzy was more shaken than she'd care to admit. She glanced down at her wrist, red finger marks already burned harshly into her skin. Shit.

”Ma’am.” Tom tipped the brim of his stetson towards her without the slightest trace of irony. He had gone all out for the occasion, wearing a bolo tie, white shirt, dress jeans with a big belt buckle and leather boots. A real-life cowboy.

Lizzy cleared her throat, trying to restore her bravado. “Didn’t know there was a fancy dress shop on the island. Where’s your tinfoil sheriff’s badge?”

“You get straight to Hell. This is my good stetson. I’ve not worn this baby since prom night.” He flicked the rim. “You realise how privileged you are, getting to see me in my good stetson, right?”

”You have more than one?” She stifled a giggle. “Didn’t know you moonlighted as a Village Person.” “You like a man in a hat.” He winked at her disarmingly, and her steel nerve buckled.

”Piss off.” She muttered weakly.

"There it is." Tom grinned in satisfaction. “On that note, what has your man got to say about you hitting the town, all dressed up?”

“Not my man, what are you on about…”

“Ah, I see. He still doesn’t know, huh?” He shook his head, tutting. “You are in so much shit.”

“I do what I like.” Lizzy scowled. “Although I don’t like this. Quite literally taking one for the team.”

“You scrub up pretty nice.” He gave her a sly look. “Trim your moustache, did ya?” “Ha!”

At the other end of the room, Lizzy spied Regis’ ginger head, still wearing his ever-present baseball cap (seriously, at a black tie?), jerk upright at the noise she’d just made. Lizzy quickly turned it into a cough.

“Insults aside, glad you’re here.” She meant it. "Dickhead.”

She meant that too.

”Save it.” Tom grumbled. “I just didn’t wanna miss the look on Ed’s face when he sees you of all people gatecrashed his fancy event.”

“Keep telling yourself that, mate.” She didn't mind anymore whether he hated her or cared for her. It was a blurry line at the best of times. But she mattered to him, in some way, that much she knew and was grateful for. If he hadn’t intervened when he did…

One way or another, it would have gotten messy.

“How’s An Audience With Hammond going?” He interrupted her thoughts.

”It’s not.” She told him about how she had failed miserably at her mission. “I am very low priority on his list of people to schmooze tonight.”

Tom was eyeing up a tray of glasses making it’s way past them. “In that case, when in Rome-“

She scoffed. “Beginning to see the real reason you’re here…”

“They don’t got bourbon?” Tom grumbled at the sparse choice of red or white. “I hate wine.”

“The single malt is for much, much later this evening-“ The waiter somehow managed to look down his nose at the taller man. “-sir.”

”You’ll get what you’re given.” Lizzy took a glass of each colour and handed him the white. “It’s free.”

”How about a toast?” Tom sardonically eyed the blue InGen banner hung over the door, company slogan in italics beneath the ever-present logo. “To…Making Our Future.”

”Spare no expense!”

They clinked their glasses.

“Hell with it. Let’s pound as much of this food as we can before they throw us out.”

”That-“ Lizzy waved over a tray of canapes. “-is the best idea you’ve had in weeks.”

***

“He was talking so fast, I couldn’t keep up, and he said Hammond personally asked him to make it happen!” Rico was hurriedly trying to explain as he stumbled into the control room after the park warden. “To show the investors.”

”That may be true.” Muldoon was barely keeping his anger in check. “But there’s a very good reason we stay away from that animal.”

”Not all of us.” Arnold added loudly as he blew smoke upwards, causing Muldoon to shoot him a venomous look.

“I sincerely apologise, boss.” Rico continued, visibly trembling in fear. “H-how can I make this right?”

”Just stay out of the bloody way. Something like that, you really should have checked.” He dismissed him with a wave of his hand before shouting “Where’s Baker?!”

“Here, I’m here!” Kathy popped up from behind a console. “Ray called me, we’re watching her now. They weren’t kidding, she’s fast.”

Rico went mute, eyes downcast, he took the opportunity to slip out of the control room like a shadow while everyone else was bustling around. Nobody noticed.

Muldoon moved around to look at the screen beside his colleagues. “Arnold, can you send out an alarm?”

”Manually.”

”That doesn't sound very efficient?"

“It ain't. As in, I’m going to have to go check the manual.” Arnold looked at him pointedly, cigarette dangling. “Or you can just grab a radio and alarm everyone all by yourself.”

”You’ve got to be joking.” Muldoon ground out. “There’s no system in place?”

“Looks that way.”

Meanwhile, Kathy was wringing her hands. All the procedures she’d gone over in her head. All her studying of emergency exits, muster points and evacuation routes. All her carefully constructed contingency plans and she still wasn’t ready for this.

“What are you going to do?” She hesitantly asked.

“What’s required.” Muldoon was looking for the key to the locker in his office. “Don’t interfere.”

Kathy solemnly nodded. “In that case, what do you need?”

“I need my best shot, for backup.” He grabbed his radio. ”Kennedy, come in.”

No response.

”If anyone can see Kennedy, pass him a radio, now.”

No answer.

What a mess. Muldoon conducted a quick head count. Only six animal handlers present. Baker-Esteves-Harris-O’Reilly-Palmer-Yamada-

Another was unaccounted for. “Baker, where’s Armstrong?”

”Er…”

Oh, balls.

Muldoon impatiently took her by the shoulders. “Is she indoors, yes or no?”

”Yes, definitely.” No way would Lizzy be seen in that dress anywhere outside the function room. “Unless-“

His eyes narrowed. “Baker, it’s important for your lifespan that you tell me exactly where she is.”

Arnold had momentarily stopped typing, holding his breath.

“She’s with Tom. If he smokes, she usually goes too.” Kathy confessed nervously. “I mean, they could be outside?”

***

”Nah, you’re doing it wrong. No chewing, you’ll be there forever. Down in one, like this-“ Tom was trying to show her how to handle an oyster.

Lizzy stared at the cold shell in her palm, the corners of her mouth downturned. ”Tom, it’s looking at me.”

She’d eaten far more questionable things in her lifetime. But this was turning out to be her Everest.

”Ah, forget it. These ones are just okay, need some tabasco.” He took the offending mollusc from her and swiftly dealt with it. “Better barbecued fresh, out on the water.”

“If you say so.” Lizzy wasn’t convinced. Sub-par oysters, she’d rather not take the chance. Yet more cracks were appearing in the InGen foundations.

A very familiar silhouette caught her eye, making his way through the crowd to their secret corner of the room with purpose. He’d clearly spotted Tom’s stetson from the doorway.

“Uh-oh, busted.” Lizzy whispered as Muldoon drew level with them both.

“Kennedy. With me, now.”

Lizzy tutted. He was clearly dismissing her as ‘just some girl’ Regis had flown in for the night that Tom had decided to try his luck with. It must have been the heels giving her an extra couple of inches that was throwing him off.

“Tom, I think you’ve pulled.” Lizzy nudged his arm. Muldoon did a double take at the familiar voice, only recognising who she was the second time around.

“Oh Christ, it’s you.” He frowned. “What’s happened to your face?”

“Rude.”

“Don’t like it.” He was looking her up and down in disbelief. ”And I can bloody well see what you had for dinner-“

“Stop staring at me.” Lizzy hissed through gritted teeth. “Surprise, I do in fact have a waist under the tattie cloths they pass off as uniforms.”

“Of course. Your waist is what’s drawing the eye.”

He wasn’t at all a fan of the look, but he still couldn’t drag his gaze away from her with everything…pushed up like that.

”Aw, Jesus.” Tom seemed genuinely upset. “Not cool, boss.”

”Why are you two in here, anyway, without your radios on?” Muldoon recalled the memo Regis had flashed around about keeping a certain animal handler away from the event at all costs. “No, never mind. I don’t actually care.”

“I would love to know-“ Lizzy remarked sweetly. “-where exactly I would be keeping a radio on my person, in this thing.”

”Talking out your ass, no doubt-” Tom muttered.

Another of the investors had broken off from the herd and started to sway his way over, bleary eyes fixated on Lizzy, and the parts of her body the dress wasn’t quite managing to cover. She could already see the words say, you look familiar forming in his head as she began to back away in fear.

But she wasn’t alone this time. Both Kennedy and Muldoon abruptly stopped what they were doing and gave the interloper a hard stare so intimidating that he about-turned and wobbled straight back the way he’d came without uttering a single word to anyone.

Muldoon shook his head, looking like his motor was rapidly winding down. “Christ alive, I need to get out of here. I hate this sort of thing.”

Lizzy cocked her head. He doesn’t do crowds.

“So if you’re both done wasting time-“ He continued.

She quickly sobered, not averse to making a quick getaway herself. “What’s wrong?”

There was a faint rumble of thunder from outside and the overhead lights dipped and came back on with a flicker. The drone of conversation around them lulled, then resumed.

The next thing the park warden said made Lizzy’s ears ring and edges of her vision darken as the adrenaline kicked in.

“Don’t react, either of you-“ Muldoon dropped his voice low enough that she had to crane her neck to hear him. “-but there’s an animal loose in the park.”

Son of a- Tom was already pushing past Lizzy, making his way to the exit doors, the sea of businessmen parting before him as he cleared a path.

“Don’t react. I said don’t react.” Muldoon quickly turned to follow him.

“Hang on-“ Lizzy caught up before he moved out of reach. “Which animal?”

Muldoon gave her a certain look while saying nothing, which told her everything.

Lizzy knew exactly which animal had broken out.

“Oh-“ She reached for the wall to steady herself as the lights flickered off again and thunder boomed over the island. “Oh, no.”

***

Thanks for reading!

If you worked out what this chapter is leading up to I will personally send you a gift basket or something.

#jurassic park oc #living dangerously #welcome to jurassic park #oc: dr lizzy armstrong #jurassic park female oc #jurassic park #jurassic park fanfiction #my writing #jurassic park 1993 #jurassic park fanfic #jurassic park novel #robert muldoon #ray arnold #john hammond #ed regis

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